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oOoxXx Ulol ang kumagAt DitO xXxoOo

nang mamulat si eba sa kahayupan ni adan


ThiS is mY passionate life.
At least that's what i think and this is the most.

to all the guys who had been a part of my life ,
thank you for teaching me how to love, how to live...

you made me...
who i am now.
i'm doing great
because of you guys


ulol...naniwala ka naman...
tungaks ka talaga kahit kelan
puro perwisyo at pasakit and dulot niyo sa kin

putangina nyo lahat!!!
hindi naman sa nilalahat, asar lang ako...
sa mga lalaking ang kakapal ng mukha... mamatay na kayo!!

ulol!!!!
tanga!!!
sirA ka Ba??
pahinga ka na lang

haay naku... sama ng timpla ko
pero hindi pa naman sarado ang pinto ko
pati bintana ng buhay ko, pilit kong binubuksan

Na sana ako'y...
magtiwalang muli
sana lang.
yuck...corny... banas yun ah!!

utot mo... ika nga ni Sandara
ika naman ni Aldo'y pasaway ka!

bakit...bakit...bakit??
magtigil ka!!

let's be friends na lang
mas mabuti pa
ano, payag ka ba?
ayoko ng fucking friends...
no puwede
intiende?!
putik!!!!

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Name:
Location: metro manila, Philippines

im the tormented pleaser, born under the star of Taurus, year of the dog, eldest in the family, currently working my ass off for no reason, i am my own comforter, afraid of confrontations and leeches, loves to eat donuts(classic), and loves to drink flavored water. I am an optimistic person. i love my friends, i am thoughtful, i strongly believe, i dont fall in love easily...for now.



likes: doughnuts and coffee | guy and gay friends | optimism |sensible talkers|music|
hates: prententions | assholes | lame-stupid people|rejections| rants|leeches|

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Image hosted by Photobucket.com Saturday, April 30, 2005

i had my 2nd taste of kinkiness...april 28, 2005...same partner...same location!!!

but all in all...nothin beats the first time pare!!!!

the tormented pleaser at Saturday, April 30, 2005

Image hosted by Photobucket.com Wednesday, April 27, 2005

gebe, my boyfriend if you have remembered, isnt acting the way im expecting him to be. I called him up kahapon, pagdating ko sa school, and siya kararating rin lang niya from work, sabi niya pagod nga rin siya, tapos ako naman sobrang enjoy sa benefits ng unlimited calls, tawag ako ng tawag sa kanya, as in sinagad ko talaga hanggang sa maubusan ako ng battery, actually matapos naming mag-usap di pa ubos battery ko, naputol yung usap namin sa dahilang di ko alam. Before the interruption, sinabi niya na baka daw maputol na lang siya, baka daw ksi mawalan siya ng signal... huh? not typical excuse yun ha... Siguro nakulitan sa akin kasi kung anu-ano yng sinasabi ko kahapon, aksi sobrang kulit ko.... but still..wala pa rin siyang patience!!!

Then sabi nya, call ako around 8pm, so i did kaso naman everytime na maka-connect ako, napuputol agad yung linya niya. So, i have decided to call him na lang sa morning mga 6:30 am paggising ko, tapos nung tinatawagan ko, naka-off yung phone niya. TApos this 8am, i called him up again, andaming ring...missed calls..siguro more than 10, but i was eager to hear his voice, so para akng try and try until you succeed kanina, tapos nung finally, sinagot niya, he's at work, tapos parang walang gana, tapos habang kausap ako...kinakausap yung isang guy... ako naman, panay tanogn ng "ano??..ha??ano yun??" tapos di pala ako kausap, tapos di umiimik, kaya yun binaba ko phone ko, kasi i was waiting for him, to speak to me, wala!! ewan ko ba!!!!

I so hate his actions today, kaya bahala siya... i wont call him first... bahala siyang magtaka!! i hate him...dismissing me and all!!

the tormented pleaser at Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Image hosted by Photobucket.com Thursday, April 21, 2005

he called me up kanina, text una then tawag...he's here na. I told him that my scheds are unavailable today, tomorrow we "might" meet... haay, kaso baka mawala yun dito!! nahahaha...wawa naman!!

the tormented pleaser at Thursday, April 21, 2005

Image hosted by Photobucket.com Wednesday, April 20, 2005

nothin to update about aside from the fact that me and my papa doodz is still on the move, were getting closer,as the day went!! hehehe...

last night i slept around 12 mn just talking to him, texting, wala naamng kwenta ang pinag-uusapan namin, puro sweet talks...eekkk!!!!

Ito namang si Gilbert, parang na-badtrip ako sa kanya kahapon, kasi ba naman, maxadong serious, di man lang naglalambing!! hay naku!!! ewan ko talaga sa knya!!!

Basta ako, for now, contented na ko kay Papa doodz!!hehehe...for now lang namn, di naman forever!!!

the tormented pleaser at Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Image hosted by Photobucket.com Tuesday, April 19, 2005

i have realized the things that i have been feeling since the time i started acting weird, acted foolish, acted OA over the so-called L-O-V-E!!! I hve been foolish enough to let my heart drive my life. Shit!!! Oh shit!!! I have thought yeasterday, hindi naman talaga siya karapat-dapat, as in deserving to receive such adoration from me. The feelings i have for him, is actually not right. He doesn deserve. Okey fine, he has been a good man, a gentleman actually last March 31, but that was it...no more!!! He's back to his old self again. he's the guy i used to know, so the effect, all of it was gone, the growing feeling has vanished!!!

now, im okey, really. I have been foolish, i will have to end this feeling.

the tormented pleaser at Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Image hosted by Photobucket.com Monday, April 18, 2005

patuloy pa rin ang aking pakikipaglaban. Nagre-relate pa rin ako sa mga songs, sa mga mushy songs. Sa mga corny lines, and situations na napapanood ko sa tv. Katulad na lang ngayon, habang naga-update ako ng blog ko, the song playing in my ym launchcast radio is Words get in the way ni Gloria Estefan. Shit, im getting mushier everyday. I just cant seem to get him off my head.

Last night, i can'ts sleep again, i have resorted into watching six feet under kahit gabing-gabi na. But kahit ganun, na-enjoy ko rin naman. Im so affected na talaga!!!

SAbi ng guy na nakilala ko after i told him my situation, a year is just enough to fall in love. Haay naku. Wish it didnt happen. SAbi ng isa kong good friend, sabihin ko daw sa kanya yung feelings ko kasi ako daw pipiliin nun, hello!! How am i gonna gamble? Bat naman ako pipiliin nya? Ano ang pinanghahawakan ko? Wala!! Ano ba ako sa buhay niya? okey fine, im still hoping that that possibility will really work but what if no? I cant take rejections, no!!!! I will have to endure it for my lifetime!!!

i can't believe im saying these lines!! What have you done to me???!!! im miserable, can't you see???

the tormented pleaser at Monday, April 18, 2005

Image hosted by Photobucket.com Sunday, April 17, 2005

i have a solution na for this ggrowing numbness of pain in me...this silly shit brought about by the so-called love. Now i kept on thinking that i am a love fool!!! Oh shit...hope im not dude!!!

Well...the solution is this, i have to lie-low for a while, i have to cut off the communications, connections, in short i would temporarily cut him off my life. Yun ang gagawin ko dahil so far, sa history ko ganun anng nagigng results, everytime i lose a connection with someone, a guy, a boyfriend, upon getting back, i mean upon talking again, the feeling is gone, everything is different. Just like my exes. After we broke up, i wouldnt have any coomunication wiotht hem, and when they return, everything is not the same. I remember the boy, but i dont remember the feelings anymore...yeck..naging Leah Salonga ba!!! hahaaha!!!

But dude, wish me luck!! Hope this all goes well!!!! Cross-fingered and all!!! Hope this'll work!!!

the tormented pleaser at Sunday, April 17, 2005

Image hosted by Photobucket.com Friday, April 15, 2005

sobra guid ya, kalain sang ginabatyag ko subong. Daw ang sa into ko!!! Daw ginsukluban ko sang langit kag duta kagab-i. Kalain gale no?? Sang nabal-an ko haln guid sa iya nga may uyab na sa, kag ang babaye nga guinahinala ko, siya guid!! D\Grabe mo, daw nagpin-ot dughan ko kagabi after reading it. Pero ang lola, sige man gyapon pretend, daw sa wala lang. Sige man gyapon pero sa sulod daw malupok na gale.

Abi mo, nahulog gid ya buot ko sa iya ya. Pero ano man lang ko man?? Sugod kami sa ndi intsakto nga sitwasyon, pano mo pa na i-expect nga ma-end kamo sa maayo nga sitwasyon? Daw kalabo gid!!!

Pero kenanglan ko batunon nga amo ni nag natabo, naga hulat pa ko nga basi ma-shift into something nice ang tanan, pero daw indi gid. ara na siya sa intsakto nga edad para mag butang sa lugar, amo man ang baye, kag mayo man ang obra sang babaye, alma siya kuno. Indi man ko maxado halata nga concern sa ila no?

the tormented pleaser at Friday, April 15, 2005

Image hosted by Photobucket.com Thursday, April 14, 2005

sakit dughan ko!!!! Nagliwat na naman ang ginakahadlukan ko!!!! Ang maluyag kag wala man padulungan!!!!

the tormented pleaser at Thursday, April 14, 2005

Image hosted by Photobucket.com Friday, April 08, 2005

totoo!!!! Masama loob ko ngayon, i have my reasons, i may not tell the whole truth but i will try to tell you part of it. Last night, umiyak ako sa sobrang galit. Ganuun kasi ako pag nagagalit, umiiyak ako, kapag feel kong sobrang galit na ako.

Pinagalitan ako kagabi ni Gebe (papa ko), malilintikan daw ako... hindi ko alam kung bakit niya sinabi yun, he told me to reply to his text, eh kaso nung mga time na yun, tinatamad akong mag-text. Tapos tinawagan ako, yun na, malilintikan daw ako. Sobrang sama ng loob ko, kahit nag-sorry na siya ng ilang beses, hanggang ngayon, nagso-sorry siya.

I mean, ba't naman niya sasabihin sa akin yun?? Di pa nga kami ganun katagal pinapagalitan na ko eh pano pa kaya kung tumagal kami??

Minsan daw, isu-surprise ako luluwas daw siyang manila. Pano to?? Wala na akong freedom?????

Isang reason pa bakit masama loob ko, i think i'm jealous, i dunno why, but i shouldnt be dahil wala akong karapatan. I cant mention the name, because he sometimes drop by at my blog and reads my entry. But heck, i'm falling for him!!! Which is not right!!!

i am losing the real me...the strong me. This is not me. Why am i acting like this???

Di ba hate ko ang mga hopeless?? Ang mga corny lovers??? ang mga inlove????? whaaahh!!! I'm acting like that. Ito pa, kinikimkim ko ang hate, jealousy on my own dahil ayokong malaman ng ibang tao na nagkakaganito ako!!!!!

HAve to fight this feeling!!!!! WHHAAAAHHHHH!!!!

the tormented pleaser at Friday, April 08, 2005

Image hosted by Photobucket.com Thursday, April 07, 2005

remember that guy i have mentioned? Yung taga sa amin. Di ba he courted me, siyempre ako sakay naman sa biyahe patungo kung saan. Minsan inaway ko, wala lang. Trip ko lang mang-away. Hahaha. We have decided to stop texting each other, stop making calls to each other. SAbi pa nga sa akin, kalimutan ko na daw number niya!!! Hahahaha...ako pa di-nare niya eh always akong magaling pag ganyang pride na ang pinag-usapan. Eh di yun, walang communications, tapos kanina nagtext sa akin. Hahaaha...hindi ako matiis na wag i-text ng ungas!!!! Tapos ngayong huling text sa kin, after kung tinanog kung saan siya, ito sagot ng loko, "an2k na rin me, d2 me sa town house ng gf me!"

Really huh??!!! Townhouse ng gf pala ha??!! Why not di ba? He obviously wants me to get jealous over him!!! Hangal ka doods..i will never show to you that i am jealous!!! Hahaha, tatawanan pa kita at ibubuyo pa kita lalo sa kabulastugang ginagawa mo!!!!

HAyop ka!!!! hahahaa!!!

the tormented pleaser at Thursday, April 07, 2005

Image hosted by Photobucket.com Tuesday, April 05, 2005

He's name is Gilbert Gerald Villa Ortega. He's gonna be 30 this year. He's the eldest in the family, just like me. He is the breadwinner so it's a bit hard to y'know snatch him off his family. I love him..hehe!!! He's 5'8 (height i mean), he's tisoy daw sabi nila!!! Basta, i dont want him to get mad at me. I want him to always be serious so that i can make him laugh!!!! Hindi naman masyadong obvious na mahal ko siya ano??!!! Basta, nilalagay ko na lang sa utak ko is that this is a testing ground for us, itong relationship. If we get along well, maybe we will pursue the "us"!!!

Isa pa, he never talks horny stuffs like sex, making out. Minsan nga eh nag-attempt akong magkwento ng ganun, pinong tawa lang nakuha ko sa kanya, i mean he is never like any other guys na masyadong malibog. Basta i like him.

Funny nga eh kasi dati i used to really hate him!!! REally!!! Now i feel like i can't stand the thought of him being angry with me, or me being angry with him. Tampo siguro pwede. He has contacts, at sabi pa niya pababantayan daw niya ako, so that i'll be safe daw...sheekkss...yoko naman ng ganun!!!

Ano ako? Presidential Daughter?? ngeekk!!! Hahahaa!!!

the tormented pleaser at Tuesday, April 05, 2005

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i think i'm inlove!!!! yes. Although im trying to stop the feeling of it. Actually i have a new boyfriend. I answered him kaninang umaga lang. I thought he was mad at me. We talked last night. He had told me a very crucial information about his past!!!! Sorry but i can't tell or share to you guys the information he relayed to me. Nakasalalay dito ang aking word of honor. I promised him not to tell anyone.

He's my boyfriend now. I think he's serious, minsan nga natatakot ako sa kanya kasi he has this sense of authority over me. Masyado siyang seryoso.

Sabi ko nga sa kanya, mortal na kasalanan ang tumawa para sa kanya!!! Pero at one point, napatawa ko siya ha. Hindi lang yung normal tawa but sobra!! Humagalpak ba naman ng tawa!!!

Ako lang daw ang nakapatawa sa kanya ng ganun. He seldom laughs!!! i told you para siyang isang father figure na strict!!!hahahaa!!!!!

the tormented pleaser at Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Image hosted by Photobucket.com Saturday, April 02, 2005

hahaha...am i allowed to say this? Okey, i won't tell!!!! But what happened yesterday is another history...sheeng...new stuffs had been learned!!! Okey, my inhibitions had been freed yesterday!!!! I have proved that i ma really a she...a female!!! Hahahaa...

the tormented pleaser at Saturday, April 02, 2005

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The following are forwarded e-mail from my yahoogroup... it's basically a guy's opinion!!! These are lame!!! I am a girl...so, i know!!! im not in denial ha!!!!!!! Most of it are wrong.


Hey Guys, Check out this GIRL'S Daily Expressions:

1. "Mwah" means.... " I Love You"

2. "La Lang" means... "I Miss you"

3. "k ka lang?" means... "Ano ka hilo?"

4. "Ingat Ka Lag!" means... "I care for you.."

5. "Hay Naku!" means... "Seryoso Ako!"

6. "Musta Ka Na?" means... "Sinong love mo?"

7. " Secret" means ... "Ikaw."

8. "Anong problema mo?" means... "Hurt naman ako"

9. "Kayo pa rin ba?" means.. "Ako naman!"

10."Chickboy ka pa rin ba?" means.. " Ang Kapal Mo!"

11. "Grabe ha!!!" means... "Selos Ako!"

12. "Saan?" means.. "Sama ako!"

13. "Inaantok na ako" means.."Wala kang kwentang kausap!"

14. "May Gagawin pa ako eh!" means... "Maghanap ka ng kausap mo!"

15. "Nakakaaliw ka" means... "Ang Cute mo!"

16. "Ewan" means... "Oo"

17. "Eh Kasi" means.., "Nahihiya ako."

18. "Talaga lang ha!" means... "Hay naku bola!"

19. "Basta!" means... "magtanong ka pa!"

20. "Busy Ka?" means.. "Kausapin mo naman ako,o!"

21. "Pwede ba?! means.. "Mas cute naman ako sa kanya!"

22. "Susunod ako!" means.. "Uumalis ka na!Ang Kulit mo, eh!

23. "Magwiwithdraw pa ako" means... "Ikaw muna!!"

34. "May barya ka sa 100?" means... "Pautang muna, sa sweldo kita babayaran."

35. "Kawawa ka naman" means.. " Buti nga... sabi ko sayo, eh!"

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